@hell_homer

This is your brain: [hippo standing in a field] This is your brain on twitter: [100s of people surround the hippo patting it rhythmically]

@hell_homer

words are just a big scam. they all just mean other words. so you keep on using even more and more words. that’s how they get you.

@hell_homer

deep in the forest theres a metal box that controls most forest settings. toggle birds, set default leaf size, select season, squirrel ratio

@hell_homer

Gandalf chuckled to himself as the boat left shore. “I just noticed,” he whispered, “your name sounds like Dildo” #LastLinesFromGreatBooks

@hell_homer

that lonely feeling when you oust your ex as mayor of your genitals on foursquare

@hell_homer

btw I learned this tonight: DO NOT image search “scrotum” because people only post pictures using a medical name if there’s something wrong

@hell_homer

kicked out of church. I yelled “YEAH WE “HAVE A MARIA”, SHE’S MY AUNT, WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING IT WEIRD”. mustve gotten too close 2 the truth