Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of hello_saylor's best tweets

@hello_saylor : As your goth coworker, I will change all “Out of order” signs to “Haunted” signs. Sorry, you can’t use that printer- it’s haunted.

@hello_saylor: Hotel room bathrooms really overestimate how much I want to see my own naked body.

@hello_saylor: My daily affirmation before work goes something like this: "I enjoy receiving a paycheck."

@hello_saylor: A great vocabulary is such a turn on. A guy used the word "bifurcated" during a meeting and I almost threw my panties at him.

@hello_saylor: Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, "Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"