@heybuddy_comic

date: im really into old movies

me: [nodding] shrek came out 19 years ago

@heybuddy_comic

[getting married]

priest: does anyone object to this union

my boss: [standing up] wait…no one said anything about a union

@heybuddy_comic

wife: i found drugs in our son’s bedroom, talk to him

[later]

me: ok so your mom’s a narc

@heybuddy_comic

me: what’s a palindrome

teacher: racecar

{10 years later}

me: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where’s the palindrome

getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]

@heybuddy_comic

boss: teamwork is very important

workers: [unionize]

boss: not like that