Me: Hey, wanna do nothing for Valentine’s this year?
Him: Why break tradition?
Forget what you’re wearing, the song stuck in your head when you die is the song stuck in your ghost’s head for eternity
My husband is suddenly showering everyday, so I assume he’s having an affair
Me pre-milkshake: Oohh! I’m gonna have a milkshake!
Me post-milkshake: I feel like hell and wish I were dead.