Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of hurlarious's best tweets

@hurlarious : [INT. STARBUCKS - DAY]

Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom
Barista: ?
Me: A large rat
Barista: ?

@hurlarious: Bored? Find group photo of 4 women on Instagram. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"

@hurlarious: Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that made fun of me in high school

@hurlarious: I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops

@hurlarious: Sweeping a woman off her feet is easy if you know karate

@hurlarious: Apparently the g-spot is located in a $1700 pair of Christian Louboutins.

@hurlarious: Why doesn't every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?

@hurlarious: I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous