A lot of guys hate it when I put both my hands on their shoulders and ask if everything is all right.
The guy at the urinal next to me seems particularly upset.
Pro-tip to avoid corona-virus
Lots of garlic.
It won’t do anything against the virus, but it will keep other people away.
This girl told me that eating a cake is the best way to calm you down.
I bet she never tried smashing it over someone’s face.
Gyms are open !
Just finished an intense workout session! (sitting in a gym judging one person for the past 2 hours)
Nature : Earth is 95% full. Please delete anyone you can.
Corona : Got it.
I wanted to be the last man on Earth just to find out if all those ladies were lying to me.
How many followers do I need more before I start tweeting quotes from Shakespeare and Mark Twain as my own?
Pro Tip : Give the person interviewing you “something to remember” doesn’t means giving them a bite mark.
I fell in love with a female electrician.
…She was a real live wire and i took her ohm with me.
There are two kinds of people here
1. Those who tried deleting another person’s tweet or reply.