@iMonkGreen

I tossed my billiard table into the bathtub.

Now I have a swimming pool.

@iMonkGreen

I just wish my ex-wife could look down from Heaven and see me
now.

But no, she’s still alive.

@iMonkGreen

There are two types of people in this world:

1)People who tried to move an object with their mind at least once

2)Liars

@iMonkGreen

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

@iMonkGreen

Can we all agree that “K” is not short for “OK,” it’s short for STFU?

@iMonkGreen

“Oh, hey! I didn’t even recognize you!” means “I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are.”

@iMonkGreen

Question of the day :

If the early bird gets the worm, why do good things come to those who wait?