Piñatas give kids unrealistic expectations of how much candy spills out of a donkey when you split one open
Christmas was ruined for me when my dad dressed up like Santa, got stuck in the chimney and his body blocked the real Santa from getting in
Would you flush a $20 bill down the toilet? Of course not. Yet you’re doing it every time you flush 4 $5 bills down the toilet. I’ll explain
Can’t tell if they’re hitting on me here?
I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do
Think I nailed my job interview today because I wore a graduation cap to make it look like I graduated high school
If I’m on a date and can’t think of anything to say I just make it look like I’m busy trying to figure out what a smell on my fingers is
If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he’s slept with
Put together a list of the PROS and CONS of pizza for those of you who are on the fence!
The more you learn about Ebola, the more terrifying it is