@ilikeyouguys

You can buy wedding cake even if there’s no wedding, those suckers don’t even check

@ilikeyouguys

Go to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me w that needle, I run off yelling ‘thanks for the free shave loser!’

@ilikeyouguys

What if gravity…was invented by the vacuum industry so there was always shit on the floor to clean up. Just hear me out tho.