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@ilovepie84 : Fool me once shame on you, fool me 237 times you must be the wrong Tupperware lid
@ilovepie84: If we just refer to ISIS as "Nickelback" maybe nobody will want to join them
@ilovepie84: Tattoos tell a story, like tribal tattoos tell a story of a guy that wears sunglasses indoors.
@ilovepie84: "I'm going to show off my new belt by tucking in my T-shirt" -Men over 50.
@ilovepie84: "Jesus take the wheel" -an Asian man telling the police that a Mexican guy stole his rims off his Honda Civic.
@ilovepie84: If you see a hot girl walking you should honk your horn to let her know you're intrested and afraid to talk to girls.
@ilovepie84: "When I'm done shitting on your car I'm going to watch your wife undress through her window"-Birds
@ilovepie84: "Sure the Decepticons are trying to kill us, but at least the price of fuel is reasonable"
@ilovepie84: I broke into your house and slept under your bed all night to protect you from the perverts out there.
@ilovepie84: I bet homophobic guys get reincarnated into condoms.