Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of imskytrash's best tweets

@imskytrash : what the signs deserve in 2019: Aries: peace Taurus: rest Gemini: happiness Cancer: love Leo: okay now Virgo: that they've Libra: stopped reading Scorpio: i think Sagittarius: animal crossing Capricorn: for switch Aquarius: might have Pisces: pigeons as townspeople

@imskytrash: me (under my breath): don't let her know how awkward you are

date: what are you having

me: an ok time

@imskytrash: LOL: laughing out loud
SMH: shaking my head
LMAKNIWNFYSP: leave me alone kyle no i will not follow your SoundCloud page

@imskytrash: barista: name for the latte?
me: it's Zach with an "h"
*two minutes later*
barista: i've got a latte for Hach

@imskytrash: cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you

me: yeah he was not nice

@imskytrash: (to kid at lemonade stand) i ain't buying shit until i find you on yelp

@imskytrash: retweet this to electronically sign my petition to ban windmills worldwide . we've had enough bird casualties . and for what ?more wind ?

@imskytrash: [sitting on park bench]
homeless guy: I'm so alone
me: okay wow I'm right here