Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of ipalatsky's best tweets

@ipalatsky : First of all, I didn't take it, and second, I already put it back.

@ipalatsky: I owe most of my colossal success to exaggeration.

@ipalatsky: Rebel against the establishment by covering every surface with lace doilies.

@ipalatsky: I prefer the term "quirky", it sounds less diagnosable.

@ipalatsky: it would probably never occur to you, but if need be, yellow pages book can knock your opponent out without any visible bruising.

@ipalatsky: I maintain neutrality in any situation by remaining clueless.

@ipalatsky: ok children, just to recap today's lesson, let's now repeat all the words you are not supposed to say.

@ipalatsky: Old superstition:
When wife laughs at your jokes:
It means you have guests in the house.

@ipalatsky: As a little girl, I dreamt of being whisked away by a handsome prince.
It's my husband's dream now.