@isabelzawtun

Pigeons are the dandelions of the animal kingdom: unappreciated, plentiful, and when you give a bouquet of them to ur mom she won’t like it

@isabelzawtun

My mom: you’re an adult and you need to start acting like one!

Also my mom: what do you mean you don’t want an Easter basket this year

@isabelzawtun

[God creating puffer fish] take that hedgehog and throw it into the goddamn ocean

@isabelzawtun

Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman. I don’t even know what to believe any more

@isabelzawtun

The local children surround me, trying to build a pyre. I’M NOT A WITCH, I shriek, my witch-like shrieking doing me no favours whatsoever