@itsmebeegee07

I just attempted a smoky eye and long story short, the raccoons have made me their leader

@itsmebeegee07

Please teach your children how babies come out of the womb.

Otherwise, your kid is going to convince my kid that they were pooped out

@itsmebeegee07

I don’t know how to tell my mom that those 10 boxes of instant mashed potatoes she has saved won’t help us survive the apocalypse

@itsmebeegee07

I don’t know who let me be an adult. My daughter and I had a slime stretching contest that resulted in slime getting everywhere including her hair and pants

@itsmebeegee07

[5 wearing a watch that used to be my nieces]

10: You don’t even know how to tell time!!

5: *looks at watch* It’s time for you to be quiet