@james_comics

interviewer: how are you with excel

me: i hate it

interviewer: an experienced user then

@james_comics

he was a skater boy
she said “more potato boy?”
she was his grandma serving lunch

@james_comics

god: these are humans

angel: how do they work?

god: [rubbing temples] not…not well

@james_comics

netflix: are you still there?

me: i’m literally not allowed to leave

@james_comics

me: while tests are supposed to measure aptitude what they actually measure is how good you are at taking tests

cop: that doesn’t apply to breathalyzers

@james_comics

[first date]

her: [checking phone] OMG my dad had a heart attack

me: [remembering girls like bad boys] good

@james_comics

octopus: [spinning so fast it takes off]

me: [nodding] helicoptopus