@johnfreiler

T NOW! what do we want? MORE TIME-TRAVEL JOKES! when do we want them? RIGH

@johnfreiler

my friend’s apartment building burned down so he’s at his parents’ and he still won’t hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRES DO I NEED TO SET

@johnfreiler

if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out