@jonnysun
OnlyAcquaintances: you pay me $5 a month so i can message you “hey lets get coffee soon!” and we never get coffee
@jonnysun
@jonnysun
one of my fav things about friendships is that when they start, you send memes by saying “i thought you’d like this one” and they respond by saying “i really do, thank you!” and eventually that grows into you just being like “yooOOOAKSLDJS” and them just being like “HOLyyOmfnfnf”
@jonnysun
summer: wait its midnight alredy?? the sun hasn’t even set yet!! lol
winter: HOW. HOW IS IT NOT EVEN 8PM. THE SUN SET LIKE 5 DAYS AGO
@jonnysun
graphic design students be like i have a alphabet due on friday
@jonnysun
deviled eggs implies the existence of holy, Godded eggs
@jonnysun
boss: do you know why i’ve called you in
me: yea, its because you wanted me to check your vibes
boss: no its very serious its because you– wait what are my vibes like
me: theyre vibin
boss: ok. anyway it says here you’ve been embezzling corporate funds
@jonnysun
STOP disrespecting my family
my mom is THOUGHTFUL AND STRONG
my dad is PRINCIPLED AND SINCERE
my brother is SELFLESS AND KIND
me
my grandmother is A SAINT
@jonnysun
THEM: where are you from
ME: canada
THEM: no, where are you FROM from
ME: ooohh…! canada
THEM: no, like what’s your background
ME: oooh…!
[shows them my phone background]
@jonnysun
“stop letting someone live in your head rent free”
other people: okay, you’re right. i will stop letting them live in my head.
me: I MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE THEM PAY THE RENT
@jonnysun
friend: you have to stop envying every single person you know when they find success in something you haven’t. it’s destroying your mental health and poisoning your relationships with your friends.
me: (immediately envious of their maturity and clarity of thought) right. totally