@jonnysun: THEM: where are you from
THEM: no, where are you FROM from
ME: ooohh...! canada
THEM: no, like what's your background
[shows them my phone background]
@jonnysun: “stop letting someone live in your head rent free”
other people: okay, you’re right. i will stop letting them live in my head.
me: I MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE THEM PAY THE RENT
@jonnysun: friend: you have to stop envying every single person you know when they find success in something you haven't. it's destroying your mental health and poisoning your relationships with your friends.
me: (immediately envious of their maturity and clarity of thought) right. totally
@jonnysun: a centaur has six limbs, a lower abdomen (horse torso), and an upper thorax (human torso), categorically making it a bug
@jonnysun: Look, Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom.
"what about that shadowy place? by 2pm when the sun is west of its apex, it will be illuminated. is that our kingdom but only in the afternoon? what about night? what about clouds"
Simba.. who told you about science
@jonnysun: if i pay $15 for a bottle of water at a concert or a sporting event, i better drown
@jonnysun: i dont understand why two people reaching into the same bag of snacks at the same time is considered romantic. like excuse me you are in the way of my snacks
@jonnysun: i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial district & all i could think was "cool. that bird makes more money than me"