@julie2288

The hardest part of raising kids is learning to let them go…

Especially when they’re 19 and STILL can’t remember to flush a toilet.

@julie2288

90% of parenting is giving up the last fried cheese stick to your kid and pretending you’re OK with it.

@julie2288

I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn’t going to sit outside with her…

Long story short, I’m sitting outside with her.

@julie2288

“Do not iron”

Like that was ever going to happen…

@julie2288

Pregnancy tests in movies are so weird…
She hands him the test and he stands there holding this stick of pee like it isn’t a stick of pee

@julie2288

Toddlers are the only life form that can exist entirely on their own snot, one goldfish cracker, and half a chicken nugget a day.