@junejuly12: I think I’ve convinced my sister that the new big thing is Diet Water, and now I can’t wait for her to order it when we go for lunch.
@junejuly12: I just ate an oatmeal raisin cookie so my kid didn’t have to.
He will be reminded of this sacrifice for many decades.
@junejuly12: Sometimes I like to put on a dark wig, a floppy hat, and huge sunglasses, and pretend I’m a mystery woman.
Sadly my husband keeps recognizing me.
@junejuly12: The woman in the next chair is being quite rude to her hairstylist, so I can’t wait to see how the back of her hair turns out.
@junejuly12: At least chocolate chip cookies don’t look like brains. I’m talking about you, cauliflower.
@junejuly12: Every time I see inside my neighbour’s incredibly pristine garage, I wonder what secret shenanigans he is up to in his basement.
@junejuly12: me: can you take care of the grass?
son, 14: *laughs* we call it weed now, mom
me: *narrows eyes* I meant mow the lawn
son: oh oh
@junejuly12: [middle of a heated argument]
Him: I’m leaving you
Her: fine with me, I’ll get the door for you *opens the oven*