@juneohara65
I just killed two birds with one stone and my next door neighbor looks horrified.
@juneohara65
@juneohara65
YES I’M JEALOUS OF YOUR GOLDFISH. MENTAL ILLNESS RUNS IN MY FAMILY.
@juneohara65
My corpse will likely be too lazy for rigor mortis.
@juneohara65
I asked my cat if I’m passive aggressive and she ignored me.
I hope I don’t forget to feed her tonight.
@juneohara65
“And to my heirs, I will leave all this….”
*gestures toward 146 half-full nail polishes, all roughly the same color
@juneohara65
My cat is smarter than I am but I’m brighter than most plants, so I feel like I’m holding my own.
@juneohara65
Halloween: The one day I can flap my arms like a bat and nobody asks any questions.
@juneohara65
Someone just told me to dim the lights and called it a beauty tip.
@juneohara65
*puts on strapless bra
*takes an extra Prozac
@juneohara65
My GPS thinks we should see other drivers.