@juneohara65

I await the announcement that Trump’s running mate will be Charlie Sheen.

@juneohara65

Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom.
Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store.

@juneohara65

It seems like every time I consider arson, the price of gas goes up.

@juneohara65

“Go ahead, caller….”

“Mom, you have to stop answering your phone that way.”

@juneohara65

Me: “Bless me father, it’s been 13,505 days since my last confession.”
Priest: “You’re off to a bad start.”

@juneohara65

The conditions inside my car have drawn attention from my boyfriend, my mother, and the Center for Disease Control.

@juneohara65

Somewhere in my brain is a tiny gland that blinds me to unwashed dishes.

@juneohara65

Nothing puts me in touch with my mortality like stepping onto a downward escalator.