@juskewitch

A kiddie pool with a carrot floating in it would look odd to you and me but to a snowman it would be horrifying.

@juskewitch

Nothing is worse than having a cranberries song stuck in your head, in your head, in your heeeeeeeeeeaaaad zombie zombie zombie eee eee

@juskewitch

The most troubling examples of sexism, homophobia and racism that I’ve ever heard are things I’ve said driving on the New Jersey Turnpike.

@juskewitch

If I see a parked car with one of those stick figure family things, I always add a sticker of myself to it and then just wait in the car.

@juskewitch

If you’re in a clown posse, you don’t need to tell us you’re insane. We know.

Nobody’s thinking you’re an emotionally stable clown posse.