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Page of justokdane's best tweets

@justokdane : fireman: where is fire

me: in my heart, i love y-

fireman: [pulls out firehose] brace yourself this is gonna hurt

@justokdane: spider: sup

me: omg stay away

spider: don't worry I'm a good spider

me: there's good spiders?

spider: hahaha no I'm gonna get you

@justokdane: tree: morning

me: oh hey

tree: yo lemme get a hit of that carbon dioxide bro

me: [exhales on tree]

tree: [leaves all shakin'] ooooh ya baby that's the stuff

@justokdane: God: got bears?
Noah: Yup
God: got birds?
Noah: Ya
God: Unicorns?
Noah: Um... the bears ate them
God: WHAT
Noah: IT'S A LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE

@justokdane: car salesman: this is the car for you
me: but that's a barrel about to go over Niagara falls
car salesman: take that baby for a spin