@karanbirtinna

Cops are always like “Where were you when the murder took place” and never “How were you when the murder took place”

@karanbirtinna

Missing someone and wanna meet them? Just wear the worst clothes you own and go to the supermarket. They’ll run into you.

@karanbirtinna

So apparently going to the medicine store’s manager with a pack of condoms asking them where the changing rooms are will get you banned from the medicine store.

@karanbirtinna

I think all the people named Shawn, Sean and Shaun should fight onto death and the winner gets to keep the name.

@karanbirtinna

Feeling so jealous of the students in stone age. They didn’t have to study history too much because nothing had happened yet.

@karanbirtinna

Watching horror movies has convinced me that answering a phone never ends well for anyone.

@karanbirtinna

In case you’re wondering if humans will be able to overcome the virus, remember we are talking about the species that presses harder on the remote control buttons when the battery is dead.

@karanbirtinna

I used to be a champion swimmer who beat every opponent. Then I was born.