Yes my dude
Watching basketball while on the treadmill feels like reading a book about someone reading an even bigger & better book
Every time I glue uncooked pasta together, a macaroni angel gets its wings.
Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back.
Why do people say children are the future? They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.
Happy that I paid $ for a gym membership to exercise the little neuron in my brain that argues whether I should go to the gym every day
Marrying my gay friend bc it’s important for couples to have common interests and we are both interested in men!
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – neighborhood drunk
People are like trees: you can figure out their age by cutting into them & counting the rings.
Right? I didn’t do this for nothing, right?
Today I watched a meteor shower until it angrily pulled the curtains closed and yelled at me to stop peeping.