Funny Tweeter

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Page of katiefzack's best tweets

@katiefzack : People just said "go to the gym" they never mentioned that you have to actually do things when you get there I've been doing this so wrong.

@katiefzack: People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.

@katiefzack: I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with.

@katiefzack: If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.

@katiefzack: I dress like a murderer when I walk through the sketchy park outside my dorm so murderers will be like "Oh she's cool she's one of us."

@katiefzack: I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY but I'll take it.

@katiefzack: Whenever I order room service and the person tells me how long until the food arrives, I whisper, "If I'm alive by then," and hang up.