
Why are the people on soap operas always CEOs?
Nobody works at Walmart?
Why are the people on soap operas always CEOs?
Nobody works at Walmart?
Why don’t adult cereals come with prizes?
A pill organizer
Post it notes
Vouchers for gas
…And so on.
*people on Wheel of Fortune
“I enjoy skiing & doing crosswords”It’s never
“I like hamburgers & threesomes”
Why is it always big, scary houses that are haunted?
It’s never “oh my god, don’t go into Kevin’s efficiency apartment, there’s a ghost in there!!!”
If the Amish don’t use curse words, how does Amish Tourette’s sound?
“Beards!”
“Churning Butter!”
“Bonnets!”
I’m not mature enough, in any way, to ever have a friend named Dick.
I just found out it only costs about $100 to change your name!!!
Say hello to Ninja Firequeef!
Haunted house ideas:
-“we need to talk” room
-“you’re being audited” room
-“my period is late” room
-“two days before payday” room