@kevinseccia

“What race was the guy?” – a question you’ll never have to ask my uncle during a story.

@kevinseccia

The Flash is lucky because he can run real fast but also because he lives in a world where every problem can be solved by running real fast.

@kevinseccia

Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip “Syrian Refugee 1 and 2” onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles.

@kevinseccia

When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?

@kevinseccia

The new $100 bills are insane. A purple stripe, the hologram thingy, the Ben Franklin that says “kill, kill, kill” as his eyes swirl…

@kevinseccia

I’m against the marriage of anyone whose first instinct is to film and then show the world their elaborate proposal.

@kevinseccia

Writing Tip: Learn the letters. YES all of them. Regardless of what you write they’ll come in handy. Try experimenting w/ diff combinations.

@kevinseccia

I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice.

@kevinseccia

Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there’s no racism problem?