“What race was the guy?” – a question you’ll never have to ask my uncle during a story.
The Flash is lucky because he can run real fast but also because he lives in a world where every problem can be solved by running real fast.
Gonna pay my grandma $100 to slip “Syrian Refugee 1 and 2” onto the Thanksgiving seating chart to piss off my uncles.
When did they decide that every razor had to look like a piece that fell off a Transformer?
The new $100 bills are insane. A purple stripe, the hologram thingy, the Ben Franklin that says “kill, kill, kill” as his eyes swirl…
I’m against the marriage of anyone whose first instinct is to film and then show the world their elaborate proposal.
Writing Tip: Learn the letters. YES all of them. Regardless of what you write they’ll come in handy. Try experimenting w/ diff combinations.
I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice.
Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there’s no racism problem?