@kibblesmith

Amazon is a $250 billion dollar company that reacts to you buying a vacuum by going THIS GUY LOVES BUYING VACUUMS HERE ARE SOME MORE VACUUMS

@kibblesmith

Nice try “Marco Rubio” — or should I say…

[rearranges letters]

“BIRAC UBOMA”

[audience gasps]

@kibblesmith

The genie sang that whole song about how he’s gonna be Aladdin’s best friend ever right in front of the monkey

@kibblesmith

But if two men get married, they’ll BOTH be stupid in detergent commercials and then no one will buy the correct detergent.