Fast and Furious 75: Tricked out motorized scooter racing in the assisted living bingo hall.
I was offered a brownie at work and when I opened the box, it was filled with brown colored letter E’s.
If a Zombie Apocalypse happened today they’d all starve to death.
The next COVID variant will be named Optimus Prime, followed by Bumblebee and Rachet.
There should be a dimmer on refrigerator lights so you’re not hit with full sunlight blast when you’re cruising for food at 3 a.m.
I found a pair of black rimmed glasses in my purse and they’re not mine and I’m worried Superman won’t be able to turn back into Clark Kent without them.
If you like being used as a giant Kleenex, working with young children may be right for you.
Don’t tell me miracles don’t happen, I opened the dryer door and there was nothing inside!
I just washed my car in my driveway and people sped up instead of slowing down.
I decided to change things up for my neighbors. Instead of seeing me topless, they caught me bottomless.
Thanks to the vaccine, I can now get in a car and argue with relatives in person.
Serendipity requires the hardest driving rain occurs during the walk from your car to the office door.
Serial killers who work with a partner are called killaborators.
I’ll grant you this, missing our scheduled call because you “had to chase and catch your pet pig” is the best reason I’ve ever heard.
My son is finally growing the thick moustache he always wanted on my face.