@kirbys4losers

Of course you don’t know ‘our song.’ You didn’t know we were even dating, silly. Or that the girl you had lunch with is in my trunk.

@kirbys4losers

Maybe I can bury my burned out vibrators in the Pet Sematary and they’ll come back to life with a vengeance.

@kirbys4losers

I’d rather be with a man who blows his load too soon rather than starts singing too soon in a song. How embarrassing for both of us.

@kirbys4losers

I can feel you getting distant from me; my only wish for you is that your destination is oncoming traffic.