Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@knot_eye : Ten out of ten pigs prefer turkey bacon over regular bacon.
@knot_eye: "Once we come down off this wall we'll be on the lam. That means we're fugitives, laying low, on the run..."
- condescending con descending
@knot_eye: "Well ... I'll be dammed."
Bodies of water when they see beavers coming.
@knot_eye: Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready.
@knot_eye: I was gonna do a tweet about Albert Einstein's IQ but I couldn't get it under 140.
@knot_eye: Dear Ad Agencies,
Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials.
On behalf of dog owners everywhere,
@knot_eye: This bottle of vodka was on sale.
So yes, I will party like it's $19.99.