[Called daughter’s phone. Got voicemail greeting.]
IN THE EXACT VOICE OF DORA THE EXPLORER
11: Hola! Soy Dora! Can you. Find. The end button?
Me: Go clean your room.
10: No, thanks. It’s not Mother’s Day yet.
“Hi, my daughter will be late to school because she can zip up her jacket by herself.”
Ice cream employee: I didn’t know you had kids! You always come in by yourself.
Kids: WHAT?! MOM!
It’s like she didn’t want a tip.