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@laurenmacdonald : I wonder how long until my guy friends figure out I only invite them over to kill bugs for me
@laurenmacdonald: Sick and tired of my bank account taking a hit whenever I buy stuff.
@laurenmacdonald: I use the phrase "when I win the lottery" a lot for someone who never buys any lottery tickets.
@laurenmacdonald: If I give my dog a toy that doesn't make an unbearably annoying noise she looks at me like I have no clue how to do anything right in life.
@laurenmacdonald: Americans should be asking Santa for better presidential candidates and nothing else.
@laurenmacdonald: There's a lot of strange facts in this world if you think about it. For example, some people like when there's pulp in their orange juice.