@lawyerthoughts

defendant: *into mic* um can I say something?
defense attorney: NO!
judge: NO!
ghost of dead lawyer: NO!
random stranger: NO!
defendant’s family in courtroom: NO!
prosecutor: YES!!

@lawyerthoughts

dear law students: nothing in the civil rules prohibits yelling out latin phrases like harry potter spells.

@lawyerthoughts

Hi you’ve reached my voicemail, this is by far one of the absolute worst ways to get in touch with me….leave a message.

@lawyerthoughts

I need to work on controlling the look on my face when I’m listening to stupid people.

@lawyerthoughts

court: counsel why are you yelling your questions from back there?
me: i’ve got my phone plugged in back here your honor.

@lawyerthoughts

Them: sir there’s no food allowed in here.

Me: this is my service burrito.

@lawyerthoughts

Your honor? My client would like to address the court and ruin everything.

@lawyerthoughts

*throws phone over courthouse metal detector. catches phone on the other side. resumes conversation*

@lawyerthoughts

Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You’ll be fine.