@lecalabara
“I feel your pane”- Guy walking into your window.
@lecalabara
@lecalabara
“The 59th rule of Fight Club is, we cant park in the lot on Vermont anymore – The owner is being a jerk. Just find street parking. 60th…”
@lecalabara
This dude forgot to put tomatoes on my sandwich. Thanks, “artist”. Now I have nothing to pick off.
@lecalabara
A tanning bed is a panini grill for people.
@lecalabara
Every chair is a reclining chair when you’re drunk.
@lecalabara
Why does a billionaire need a Bat signal? He is in a cave. How does he even see the signal? Why won’t you just text him?
@lecalabara
You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body.
@lecalabara
“The entire sky is mine to explore!Nah, Ill just swoop dangerously through traffic instead.”- Birds
@lecalabara
Uhh, hells yeah Id like to participate in your brief survey.
@lecalabara
Thanks Autocorrect, I did want to bang her braids out.