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Page of leifromloihi's best tweets

@leifromloihi : good morning, this is your captain speaking. my parents made sure that from a young age i understood that there are things worse than death.

@leifromloihi: [opens fortune cookie]

be careful what you wish for

[opens another]

this is your final warning

@leifromloihi: told my kid to sign my boyfriend's birthday card

@leifromloihi: oh the aliens aren't speaking to us right now because idk they're pissed that we flaked out on that pyramid project they started or whatever

@leifromloihi: i was one of the palm trees waving around in the background of every 16 bit game in the 90's so yes random guy you do know me from somewhere

@leifromloihi: [pulls away from kissing] do you ever pretend nfl players with dreadlocks swinging around under their helmets are predators