Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of leslid79's best tweets

@leslid79 : I wish there was a show called "Lifestyles of the Twitter Famous" so we could all see how nice your mom's basement is.

@leslid79: 1. Change last name to Crunch.
2. Join the military.
3. Work my way up to Captain.
4. Become Captain Crunch.
5. WIN LIFE

@leslid79: Oh, you solved a murder? I guess that's cool. One time I didn't run over my ex when I saw him crossing the street. I prevented a murder.

@leslid79: I wear my heart on my sleeve because if I wore it on my chest, it'd just get mustard stains on it.

@leslid79: "I'm gonna cramp your style." - Menstruation

@leslid79: Abra abracadabra. I wanna reach out and stab ya.

@leslid79: 32. Never married. No children. nnI'm the last single friend standing! I win!nn*This message brought to you by whiskey and self loathing.