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Page of li4mst3w4rt's best tweets

@li4mst3w4rt : alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"

@li4mst3w4rt: friend: "we should have a drink sometime"

*never contacts them again*

@li4mst3w4rt: me: it's too hot

*opens window*

*in comes 305430 flies, 43866 spiders, 91193 moths, a serial killer, a paedophile and a burglar*

(HELP)

@li4mst3w4rt: my reaction to stepping in dog shit is identical to me logging onto facebook...