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Page of lisaxy424's best tweets

@lisaxy424 : Me at 25: I am not going to be one of those adults who just gives up on fashion

Me at 35: I wear nightgowns as dresses because they’re softer

@lisaxy424: ($800 for an iphone)

oh no problem here you go

(99 cents for an app)

HA I DONT THINK SO PAL MONEY DOESNT GROW ON TREES YA KNOW

@lisaxy424: HEY JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD A KID DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STOP POSTING PICTURES OF YOUR DOG

@lisaxy424: When I was a kid: why do athletes retire in their 30s they’re still so young

Me in my 30s now: *trying to get up from a couch* yep ok

@lisaxy424: me: let’s go to bed earlier like responsible adults
brain: great idea

[10pm]

me: so do we just like lay here or what
brain: i have no idea

@lisaxy424: today was my first day back after the holidays and my body is like excuse me why aren’t we eating 9 meals a day anymore

@lisaxy424: Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend obviously never had a burrito.

@lisaxy424: Whenever I'm feeling fat, I try not to stress about it and just keep my chins up.

@lisaxy424: I feel like my relationship with the Walking Dead started so great and we had some good times but now we’re only staying together for the kids.

@lisaxy424: boss: WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING?
me: HAHAHA

[later]

cw: WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING?
me: literally never talk to me gary