@lloydrang : Never mistake my kindness for weakness. Never mistake my silence for approval. And never, ever, mistake my appetizer for a sharing platter.
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@lloydrang: Texts delivered by Bluetooth right to your wrist? Not on my watch.
@lloydrang: Parents who say they love their children unconditionally have obviously never had a kid choose tuba as their band instrument.
@lloydrang: Way ahead of you, "cashless society."
@lloydrang: There's no gangsta way to say "Oopsie Daisy." I know that now.
@lloydrang: By age 30, most men have found that one special hairstyle they want to spend the rest of their life with.
@lloydrang: I think it's safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.
@lloydrang: "Quinoa" sounds like something a ninja would say before kicking you.
@lloydrang: Wait - my gym moved?
In 1997?
@lloydrang: Kid: Mommy's last name must be "Honey" cuz that's what daddy calls her
Teacher: That's SWEET. What's her first name?
Kid: "Sorry," I think