Today’s Forecast: Room Temperature
Tomorrow’s Forecast: Room Temperature
Long-Term Forecast: Room Temperature
Never mistake my kindness for weakness. Never mistake my silence for approval. And never, ever, mistake my appetizer for a sharing platter.
Texts delivered by Bluetooth right to your wrist? Not on my watch.
Parents who say they love their children unconditionally have obviously never had a kid choose tuba as their band instrument.
Way ahead of you, “cashless society.”
There’s no gangsta way to say “Oopsie Daisy.” I know that now.
By age 30, most men have found that one special hairstyle they want to spend the rest of their life with.
I think it’s safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.
“Quinoa” sounds like something a ninja would say before kicking you.
Wait – my gym moved?