@lloydrang
My wife and I are having a fitness competition. She is out running, and I am wondering if the dog will drink Red Bull and wear my tracker.
@lloydrang
@lloydrang
The Honey Badger is my favourite animal that sounds like a really scary breakfast cereal.
@lloydrang
Today’s Forecast: Room Temperature
Tomorrow’s Forecast: Room Temperature
Long-Term Forecast: Room Temperature
@lloydrang
Never mistake my kindness for weakness. Never mistake my silence for approval. And never, ever, mistake my appetizer for a sharing platter.
@lloydrang
Texts delivered by Bluetooth right to your wrist? Not on my watch.
@lloydrang
Parents who say they love their children unconditionally have obviously never had a kid choose tuba as their band instrument.
@lloydrang
Way ahead of you, “cashless society.”
@lloydrang
There’s no gangsta way to say “Oopsie Daisy.” I know that now.
@lloydrang
By age 30, most men have found that one special hairstyle they want to spend the rest of their life with.
@lloydrang
I think it’s safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.