@longwall26: Forcing my general contractor to dig his own grave. He says he can be done by May, maybe June. Depends on some other jobs.
@longwall26: Humans: Okay, so
Dog Negotiator: Yes
Dog Negotiator: Absolutely. We'll do it
Humans: I haven't even
Dog Negotiator: I love you
@longwall26: Raised by wolves. Sent to college by wolves. Moves back home with wolves. Learns to ignore wolf-mom's worried glances.
@longwall26: To avoid eating all the Halloween candy, I got tiny Bibles to hand out instead but, nope, I've eaten all those too.
@longwall26: *refills beautiful woman's wine glass* haha I feel like I've been talking about corn dogs--and my love of corn dogs--all night
@longwall26: Fun idea: Have a magician saw you in half at your funeral. Or not even a magician, just anybody with a big saw.
@longwall26: *tops off beautiful woman's wine glass* But what if you could, Sharon, what if you could control the cat with a Nintendo Power Glove?
@longwall26: People to panhandlers: Get a job, you lazy bum
People to ducks: Who has free bread for you? Is it me? Yes, it is