@lovejulieacafe

*parachutes into your family BBQ*

I noticed you haven’t retweeted me in a while, but I see you had time to make POTATO SALAD…

@lovejulieacafe

People who give you their attention only when they’re lonely or bored…

No thank you.
I already have a cat.

@lovejulieacafe

I just saved a ton of money by using my Pizza Hut points to order free pizza- earned from the ton of money I spent on previously ordered pizza.

@lovejulieacafe

Imagine the shock of seeing her in RL with her average sized eyeballs and no antlers…

@lovejulieacafe

I never realized how many “favorite” coffee mugs I had until other people tried to use them.

@lovejulieacafe

I have 2 words for you:

Waffle.
Pants.

Also, I may be high from paint fumes.

@lovejulieacafe

This guy just told me I have beautiful eyes.

Well, he said they were pretty…

Ok, he said “Healthy & no change since your last visit.”

@lovejulieacafe

*Speed Dating*

Him: Do you have any hobbies?

Me: *tying my hair in a big knot under my chin so I look like I have a beard*
“TAAA-DAAA!”