@lovemyboots111

Sarcasm :

Because life doesn’t come with a free “stay out of jail card”

@lovemyboots111

I hate when I stand on a scale and it starts to cry and begs me to get off

@lovemyboots111

Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life….

Avoiding them

@lovemyboots111

How do you know your man is cheating?

When he drives by her place the wifi connects

@lovemyboots111

“One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you….”

under a moving bus

@lovemyboots111

Women are like, “no I’m not mad”

*sets your car on fire*

Nope not mad

@lovemyboots111

Are you guys sure common sense can’t be beaten into people ? Because I’d like to give it try!

@lovemyboots111

Apparently asking the boss ” who ignited the fuse on your tampon?” will get you sent to HR.

@lovemyboots111

I’m at the age where an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee