Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of lovemydogduck's best tweets

@lovemydogduck : Beer doesn't have many vitamins that's why you need to drink lots of it

@lovemydogduck: I don't really hate you, it's just that if you were on fire, I'd roast marshmallows..

@lovemydogduck: I tried to make a batch of rum balls. But now they're just balls and i'm drunk.

@lovemydogduck: Valentine's day is just about a month away so if you're in love with me, now would be the time to speak up.

@lovemydogduck: Remember, smoking doesn't kill people. People who are trying to quit smoking kill people.

@lovemydogduck: How come when our phones fall, we panic, but when our friends fall, we laugh.

@lovemydogduck: Doctor: Im sorry but your condition has become quite acute...
Me: I think your pretty acute yourself *winks*
Doctor: ...
Me: *dies*

@lovemydogduck: If I was Juliet I would of said something more like this: Romeo , Romeo! Wherefore art my pizza, Romeo!?

@lovemydogduck: Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered.