@Lovestained555

My grandmother’s name is so Italian you need both hands to pronounce it.

@Lovestained555

If you put healing crystals in a sock and beat someone with it do they cancel each other out?

@Lovestained555

*amasses epic army of stoners but we do nothing because epic army of stoners*

@Lovestained555

Before I die I want to be chased through the back of a Chinese restaurant.

@Lovestained555

My 5yr old eats chicken wings with the precision of a hitman cleaning his rifle.

@Lovestained555

Look on the bright side, your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth.