If it weren’t for bad decisions, I’d be pretty indecisive.
No more excuses…
…I’m canceling that gym membership.
Me: ‘Can I offer you something to drink?’
Waiter: ‘I’m sorry?’
Me: ‘I know, it’s weird right? Now you try.’
16: ‘Where’s the remote?’
Me: ‘When I was your age, we had to walk over to the tv to change the channel!’
16: ‘Now you’re just making stuff up.’
Priest: ‘Wait. Didn’t I forgive you for that last week?’
Me: ‘Please don’t make this any harder than it has to be.’
Brain: ‘Where shall we begin?’
Sometimes you need to hug someone out…
The last time I danced like nobody was watching, someone stabbed me with an EpiPen.
Amazing how many stupid choices are made on smart phones.
The best part about my sex life is all the free time it affords me.