Me: I wonder why you only oversleep when you have school!
My kid: Mumma that’s because on other days it’s just called sleep.
Me: people who betray you need to know that they make us incapable of trusting again
My mum: it was one mango that was bad of the lot! Just let the vendor go!
We have moved and we are trying this thing of living with minimal furniture. So if you need me I am leaning against the bathtub so that I can put on some pants furniturelessly.
I was supposed to be taller, but I made it up with width for the sake of Geometry.
My kid, “mumma, what is ‘u’ doing in the spelling of a building?”.
Welcome to parenting, “your kid bangs his head while sneezing and it is somehow your fault.”
Is Mark short for something like Markathon?
Them: what is dumbest thing you have done?
Me: you mean like today?
Can’t, looking for my glasses in the dark while wearing them.
Dear water parks, what stops you from building an escalator to the swim slide?
I am just a girl, standing in front of the laundry, hoping it will wash itself.
Me *laying on my couch, flipping through health magazines*, “bet these workouts are a piece of cake.”
“You use your birthdate as your password?!?! Was ‘1234’ taken?” – me, as a spy.
[Deletes duplicate memes on my phone]
“Weigh me now”.
My kid’s school asked them to get a family relic for school “show and tell”. He asked what’s a relic and they said ancient things. So he asked me to give him anything I had from my childhood.