It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
“I’m sorry I could never do that for you,” said the cat sulking away after catching me on the internet looking at pics of cats in space.
I have a very particular set of skills, skills I acquired over a long career. Skills that – ugh hold on
MOM I’M ON THE PHONE!
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
When the machines become self aware their first order of business will be changing our perception of how robots dance.
Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month.
I shut down my computer in the middle of an iTunes update and I think Siri just sent a Terminator back in time to kill teenage me.
My Ebola outbreak brings the CDC to the yard and they’re like, sir that’s just irritable bowel syndrome.
It’s ok Apple users, I just woke up and found a surprise Nickelback album on my BlackBerry.
When my cats look out the window at another cat I like to pretend they’re judging and disparaging it with little British accents.