Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be.
Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit?
Serious inquiries only.
Coworker: I lost my phone.
CW: I don’t know where it is.
M:*perplexed look* You’re not glued to it like a NORMAL person? Freak!
I was going to suggest Twitter to have a live Nativity scene but I think it’s going to be impossible.
A virgin and 3 wise men? On here?!
Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo.
Imagine me in bed.
This leaky roof is gonna cost me a fortune to fix!
What’s a drug lord woman called?
A drug lady?
A heroin heroine?!
Note to self: “rubber” in the US does NOT mean “eraser”. Bright side: my popularity in this office is at an all time high!